A mother is the most important person in our lives. Her unconditional love allows you to be yourself and she is the basis of our existence. When your mother is gone, this leaves a huge crater in your heart and life. Missing your mother is, of course, something that happens every day. But as Mother's Day approaches, you are reminded even more strongly that she is gone and how incredibly empty it feels without her. 

A Mother's Day without a mother, how do you do that?

Grief is a very good mechanism of your body and mind. It allows you to process emotions that might otherwise block you. Our minds are set up to make you feel sadness in exactly the right amount every time. Just enough so you can cope. So be kind to yourself, let the tears flow and let yourself feel. Realise that tears make you lighter and if you do it right, they will slowly bring you to a stage where you can smile occasionally when you think of your mother, instead of it tearing you up all the time.

Be aware that sometimes being angry seems to help, but it actually keeps you from processing and is a toxic mask for grief.

In addition to your grief, try to remember and cherish the love and the beautiful moments. The greater the loss, the stronger the bond. Be grateful for the time you did have and draw strength from all the love she gave you. And that love will always stay with you. Like a warm blanket against the cold.

Finally, talk about what you feel. Let the people around you know what you need. Because it is very difficult for others to judge what you like. Talking about your mother, or avoiding the subject for a while. An arm around you so that your tears can flow, or looking for distraction. Indicating what you need is very pleasant for the people around you, so they know how they can be there for you. For love comes in many shapes, sizes, forms and degrees, but love is ultimately love. And we all need that, and sometimes a little extra.